Robert Hoge, Author of "Ugly," Comes to Lowell

Robert Hoge is a husband, a father of two daughters, and the author of Ugly: My Memoir. He was also Lowell’s special guest on Monday, October 16, 2017, thanks to Middle School Librarian Melissa Hill and Barstons Child’s Play who arranged the visit.

At Lowell to talk to 4th–8th graders about his life and memoir, Hoge captured the rapt attention of his audiences, children and adults alike as he spoke about why the way he looks the way he does and what it means for him. “I was born with a tumor in the middle of my face, about the size of a baseball,” he began. He also had two deformed legs and a mother who wasn’t sure she wanted him. His siblings did want him, though, and he soon went home from the hospital to his family.

In plain, straightforward language, Hoge described his childhood—both the typical parts, like enjoying the ocean, learning to skateboard, and getting into fights with his siblings, as well as the difficult parts, like getting called names, learning to wear prostheses, and having 24 operations by the time he was in 9th grade. But, Hoge also had a message for students: “The way I look is part of me but not the only part… Don’t let people define you by just one thing… Don’t try and define others by just one thing.”

Students in both divisions had many questions for Hoge, several about his prostheses and some about his decision not to have additional surgery on his face. Fourth graders, in particular, who have been exploring identity and how it shapes people’s perspectives and choices, continued to reflect on Hoge’s visit in morning meetings and their journals. Here’s are some of the things they have been thinking about:

• “I am wondering how his mother feels now about the feelings she had when he was born—about not wanting him.”

• “Robert Hoge had amazing skills of expressing emotions that were strong, but he was able to communicate these to us with such calm.”

• “I wonder whether his mom couldn’t accept him [because] of the way he looked or thought that she didn’t know whether she could take care of him?”

• Connection: “When I was two I had to get surgery on my eyes.”

• “When he was 14 and had the chance for the surgery, I wonder why his brother said, ‘If you can’t even see yourself, why try to be pretty.’”

• “I wonder why Robert was born with his physical differences when his older siblings were all healthy.”

• “I think he had a lot of hard choices when he was younger.”

Librarian Christine McDaniels called Hoge’s “transformative,” and Director of Primary School Jason Novak reflected, “We continue foster incredible and courageous work in the Primary School, and the richness we provide continuously supports our students in embracing their own identities, gives them the opportunity to look through various windows and mirrors, and helps them to have a deeper understanding of the identities and perspectives they will engage with in our world.”